When kids don't feel comfortable talking to parents, they're likely to seek answers to their questions elsewhere, even if their sources are not reliable. If kids are not properly informed, there's a greater risk that they're going to engage in risky behaviors and experiment with drugs.

What Should I Say to My Child?
Preschool to Age 7
Before you get anxious about talking to your young children, take heart. You've probably already laid the groundwork for a discussion. For instance, when you give a fever medication or an antibiotic to your child, you have the opportunity to discuss the benefits and the appropriate use of those drugs. You are providing a context of how to use drugs in a responsible way. This is also a time when your child is likely to be very attentive to your behavior and any guidance that you provide.

This is also an ideal time to start taking advantage of "teachable moments." If you see a character on a billboard or on TV that is smoking, talk to your child about cigarettes, nicotine addiction, and what smoking does to person's body. This can lead into a discussion about other drugs and how they can potentially cause harm. 

The tone of these discussions should be calm and it's a good idea to present the concept in terms that you know your child can understand. Be specific about the effects of the drugs: how they make a person feel, the risk of overdose, and the other long-term damage drugs can cause. To give your kids the facts, you might have to do a little research.

Ages 8 to 12
As your kids grow older, you can open up conversations about drugs with them by asking them what they think about drugs. If you ask the questions in a nonjudgmental, open-ended way, it is likely that you will get a more honest response from your child.

This is also a time when kids are still really willing to talk openly to their parents about touchy subjects. By establishing a dialogue at this age, you will help keep the door open as kids get older and are naturally less inclined to share their thoughts and feelings so openly with you. 

Even if your question doesn't immediately result in a discussion, you've gotten your kids thinking about the issue. If you show your kids that you're willing to discuss the topic openly and hear what they have to say, they might be more willing to come to you for help in the future.

News items, such as steroid use in professional sports, can be springboards for casual conversations about current events. These discussions can provide your children with information about the risks of drugs.

Ages 13 to 17
At this age, your kids are likely to know other kids who use or abuse alcohol or drugs. They are also likely to have friends and peers who drive. It's important to talk about the dangers of driving under the influence on your kids. Talk about the legal issues - jail time and fines for driving under the influence - and the possibility that they or someone else might be killed or seriously injured.

It's a good idea to set up a written or unwritten contract on the conditions of going out or using the car. You can promise to pick your kids up at any time (even 2:00 AM!) without asking questions if they call you when the person who drove has been drinking or using drugs.

The contract can also detail other situations: For example, if you find out someone has been drinking or using drugs in your car while your kids are driving, you may want to suspend driving privileges for 6 months. If you discuss all of this at the beginning, there will be no surprises and they will be clear about your expectations.

Laying Good Groundwork
No parent, child, or family is immune to the effects of drugs. Some of the best kids can end up in trouble, even when they have made an effort to avoid it, and even when they have been given the proper guidance from their parents.

However, certain groups of kids may be more likely to use drugs than others. Kids who have friends who use drugs are likely to try drugs themselves. Kids who may be feeling socially isolated for one reason or another may turn to drugs. So it's important to know your child's friends - and their parents. Be involved in your children's lives. If your child's school runs an antidrug program, get involved. You might learn something! Pay attention to how your kids are feeling and let them know that you are available and willing to listen in a nonjudgmental way. Recognize when your kids are going through difficult times so that you can provide the support they need or seek additional care beyond what you can provide.